I Just Knew

Two years ago today our hearts changed forever. We both had a hunch, but we weren't totally confident until that memorable morning. Without explanation, one morning I woke up and I just knew we had a new addition to our family. Before I even set out on my journey to find out the true answer, I researched ways to tell your husband you are expecting. I didn't want to make another trip out if it meant delaying him knowing.

I did some research, but still not knowing what my plan of action would be, I headed out. I bought two things at the commissary and then raced home: a pregnancy test, and Godiva hot chocolate mix. Not sure why, I just felt stupid having the test be the only thing I was buying, and plus, it sure looked good as I rushed past it in the store. I was on a mission.

When I arrived home to do the standard first morning pee test, Daddy was home! Being as though he only worked 1 mile from home it wasn't shocking he came home for breakfast after his workout. But, he was on the phone. I couldn't wait. I ran back to the bathroom, fumbled around with the test, aimed and fired and then waited for what seemed like forever. I prayed that the Lord's will be done and that I would have peace if it was not positive. I didn't even know how much I truly wanted a child until just a few hours before. If this was negative I would be crushed. Before I ended my prayer, I just had to peak, it came out loud and clear, there was a baby in there! I shed a few tears and rushed out to the living room to pace around waiting for Daddy to get off the phone.

After what seemed longer than a gestational age of a child, he got off the phone. What could possibly be more important than him finding out he was having a child?! He did not know what had been evolving. I put the test in the end table drawer and then sat on the couch. I let him know that I had something I wanted him to see before he made another call. He seemed distracted, so I told him to take his time. Of course, that's not what I truly wanted, but I didn't want him to be sidetracked when he found out the big news. He said work could wait and came in and sat down. I pulled the test out of the drawer and gave it to him with the directions. He looked at the test, then said, "what does it say?" I told him to read the directions. I just wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs, but I wanted him to have a few short seconds to process the information on his own. To put it all together. To attempt to possibly understand what was happening in our lives. He did just that. A smile quickly appeared on his face. "You're pregnant!!!" "Yup, I sure am!"

We sat there and hugged and pondered what this all meant. I was pregnant, that was now obvious, but the rest was sure a mystery. We did the math and realized he would be deployed. He would miss the birth by 6 weeks. We had always left the conception of children up to the Lord and knew his timing of when he wanted to bless us with a child far outweighed what we could ever imagine would be what we thought the best timing would be. It was hard to imagine having this child without the physical support of Andy, but we knew that the Lord knew that and he was in charge. We ideally did not want to have a child until he was out of the Marine Corps. We had hoped to really start trying to conceive right when he got back from this deployment. But, instead he now would come home to a 20 week old baby. It seemed strange, but it was then that we started to truly understand when the Lord explains that his ways are better than ours and his ways don't always make sense to the world. The Lord did not owe us an explanation as to why he chose then as the right time, but we trusted in his ultimate plan, knowing we had left it up to him all along and that this was clearly a byproduct of following him.

Since that day, we have grown more and more in understand our place in this world. We are children of God and we are to be used for his purposes, not our own. We chose to follow him with absolutely every aspect of our lives, and having children falls under that category.

We were beyond excited for what the future held. But, of course, that excitement was dusted with a bit of trepidation. We were entering into the great big world of parenthood, something we knew nothing about.

And so here we are, two years later, with just a tad bit of experience under our belts and a beautiful child to show for one of God's miracles in our lives. My belly tells of another. Another one of God's perfectly timed blessings.