Here we sit. He's bundled up so tightly against me in his wrap I can feel his heartbeat. I feel like a mommy kangaroo. He's most often found on my front in his pouch. I have had a great amount of energy today. So, in a last ditch effort, after Andy went to bed early, to prepare for a busy day tomorrow, I tried to put Joseph in his swing to finish a few more things not conducive to wearing your baby, but he wasn't having it.
My immediate reaction was to sigh and wish he would just let me be for a few minutes. But then I was reminded today when I was looking through pictures of Samuel at 4 weeks old comparing our two babies, I felt like I couldn't remember hardly a thing about when Samuel was 4 weeks old. If there were no pictures to jog my memory, I promise, I would be lost. Fortunately, now I don't have to remember it all, we've got the blog!
I love taking pictures, but it's also another way of helping me not feel like such a bad mom for feeling completely clueless down the road when someone asks me when my kids started this that and the other. I don't remember that stuff!!! I wish I did. But, lets be honest, I can't even remember the 5 items that I need to get at the store . Yes, kids memories are more important than that, and should be easier to remember, but memories fade. And most of the time for me, the good ones fade quicker, not sure why.
I'm saying all of this because, there are still numerous things on my 'list 'o things' to do this week and they aren't getting done at the rate that I had wanted them to get done. And ya know what. I just don't care! I learned my lesson with Samuel the hard way. My house looked great, I was always showered, dressed and dinner was planned out more than a day ahead of time, but I feel like those were too much of a priority. I felt guilty for just sitting on the couch with him and staring at him for hours. I felt like I was wasting the day away.
I now realize, what in the world could be more important than holding and spending time with my child? I can't think of a single thing right now! Yes, I love sleep. I would love to be bundled up with Joe and Andy in bed by 10 pm, but most nights, Joseph is not interested in sleep quite that early. I have learned to cherish these times with him. It's our time, just us. I don't want to look back on this time and think "I can't remember a thing," or only be able to remember hemming and hawing because I just wanted him to fall asleep so I could follow suit.
If there is anything I remember, I want it to be good. That means I've got to be making good decisions about my priorities and my attitude now so I have no regrets when I look back over the years and wonder where the years went and ask, "how are our children already having children?" Before I know it, it will by my grandson or daughter I'm holding in my arms and I'll be passing on these experiences to our sons. Hopefully, I'll be able to tell them lots of stories about when they were little...if I can remember any.
Joseph @ 4 weeks old:
Samuel @ 4 weeks old:
*In an effort to protect the future self esteem of Joseph, I must note that he has just as good head control and neck muscles as Samuel did at this point in their lives. But, I just couldn't get a good picture of Joseph before big brother started climbing all over him. This one was the best we could do. I've got another chance tomorrow when he turns the big 1 month to show what a strong boy he truly is. Don't worry buddy, mommy's got you covered.
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